me, the messy

there would come a time when
frozen windows turn to waterfalls
the words for apology cease to be said
linger in darkness inside the head
for barricades of lumps and sobs
hinder the echoes of sorrow, of regret
water keeps falling unmanned, with no dams
it stings through closed windows, now broken
it's shards had pierced another
i've cause the wounds, the pain, the bleeding
and for that a suffering of tenfold

it was already november, and i was running out of ideas as to what to give him for christmas. i wanted something special,
something meaningful, something he wanted. i asked him what he wanted, but anything would do, he said. i asked him to
send me his wishlist instead. but i couldn't give him anything that were mentioned. as a last resort, i decided to give him
a planner from starbucks. i liked the planner and i was so excited to use it since the pages were all recycled. it was also
bound in leather, which added class to it. i was hoping that he'd feel the same way as what i had felt when i first got mine.
i made sure though that he uses a planner first, which he did, so that i know it would be of use. i really don't like giving stuff
to people that aren't any useful. so anyway, the planner isn't anything that you can just buy. one has to purchase a certain
number of their seasonal and regular drinks that would avail of a sticker for each. the stickers would then be placed on the
"promo" card that each customer gets every holiday season of each year. it took me almost 3 months to get all stickers. i
like the toffee nut latte so i would usually order it, that everytime i pass by starbucks they would already know who i was
and which drink to get me. until that drink was out of order, i always asked for the tall cafe americano (and of course my
favoritee chunky choco chip cookie). when i finally completed it, i was so excited to get it but was unable to right
away, since i was so busy with work and school. then, one morning of the early weeks of february, i made time to get it.
i was so busy then contacting people that while i was talking to the guy on the counter to get the planner, i was also talking to
someone on the phone. i got the planner without second thoughts, thinking how my baby would feel when he finally
got it. i arranged to have it sent to him right after my class after a couple of days later (there was an LBC branch right in
front of the school, very convenient isnt it?) then hoped for the best.

to be continued....

i'm starting to hate wearing my glasses. sometimes it would come
up still so blurry. i wonder if the grade's too much or too less.

i gave my baby a planner. not just any planner but a starbucks
planner. and yes i've completed all the drinks to get it! when i
got it, had it sent to him through LBC. i was so excited that he's
gonna have it at last! but it was so frustrating to hear that the
planner wasn't in order. i was sorry. i felt so bad.

anyway, was finally able to have the planner changed. went passed
by starbucks for that reason but it just got me pissed off a bit.
i talked to the supervisor and he said all it needed was rearranging
the months to the right order. so he started
adjusting the rings that binded the leaves together and told me
about it. like duh! hello? as if i'd be there just to ask you to
rearrange the leaves!! of course i would want to have it changed
you moron! gosh! i would really want to say that straight to his
face! they didn't have any planners available yet. so they will
be contacting me again on when i can get it. sheesh! this is
supposed to be a present and it's all just a tradegy! and i don't feel
too good about it!

=(