me, the messy

I'm confused.

Given 2 things that you want to do in life, but they're complete opposites of each other, which one would you choose?

See, you'll be sacrificing a lot for the first one. With 3 years and 3 months to waste before you even earn the second job's starting basic pay. But after that, you'll earn so much more and it would be worth all that wait.

The other is where you think you'll be happy doing what you do with a stable income of just that, all through out you're stay in that company.

Why I worry so much about the compensation is because of I have to provide for a few obligations. So yes, it is all about the compensation.

You know I can write anytime. So with that in mind, I'd rather program. But, when it comes to compensation, considering my current obligations, I'd rather write.

I know I've been in this situation before. I can remember that I've chosen the wrong path.

Maybe I can choose both.

it wasn't the first time he told me. but this is as far as i can remember.

that day, we were supposed to go to that sale for mountaineering items in front of burger king after we watched a movie at trinoma. when we got there , it was closed. i felt sorry for letting him down again. so we ate at burger king instead.

and then he said that he loved me before we parted ways.

i remember his face, how he reacted. i think it was disappointment or worse, hurt. he told me he loved me and i only answered with a goodbye and that to take care. i knew how awkward that moment was so i gave him a peck on the cheek (or at least i think i did) and then crossed the street. i stopped when i reached the other side and i remember watching him walk away before i started to climb up the hill to our village.

i remember feeling something that i can't even start to describe when i was heading on home. now i realized that it was emptiness. maybe it was what he was feeling too.