Jan 21, 2009
well hello blog! don't want to dwell in pain again. she seems to enjoy herself though. we're getting through you see. almost back in delight. maybe i should sleep some more. give herself room. this is one rare thing after all.
i wish we can make up our mind though. hmm. going back to slumberland. teehee!
Jan 12, 2009
(posted during the previous on the other side)
He showed me a website once. It was his friend's. It exhibited the intricate needle work of a tattoo artist. It was just celestial to me. I told him I wanted one. The notion angered him. He told me to stick to henna.
*sigh*
I don't know whether to immerse in dolefulness or laughter.
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I remember when I was in his embrace it would always feel so right. I felt comforted and warm, like it was the only place in this world where I should be. On that last time, he asked me to look at him but I couldn't. I left my head to rest on his shoulder. He asked why but I couldn't answer. I wish I had. But it's too late now.
I wanted to say that I was afraid that he'll vanish. I thought I was dreaming because I couldn't believe that we were together. I was afraid that it would be the last time. Well, it turned out it was.
I eventually looked at him anyway. I remember how his eyes would always look like he's smiling. But the last time I looked meaningfully, he was preventing the tears to spill but it still had that same beam. That memory still pains me. I could have told him everything at that moment, I could have held him in my arms and returned that same warmth. But I was a coward and told myself to save it for tomorrow before he left. It was a bad move. The worst move that I've ever decided actually.
That happened more than two months ago. Would you believe that there's still a bit of hope in me thinking that tomorrow would come? How crazy is that?
