me, the messy

Skip the easel and the turpentine! I can purchase those in the overpriced bookstore instead! What the heck I have all the means to do so anyway. But I need that damned brush tub! Ugh!

Instead of going to artist's haven (no thanks to my phobia of the location), I went to that big store near UST. *Sigh* It was packed with students. I couldn't even ask for a decent answer from one of the sales ladies, so much for inquiries. Good thing about it was that the drafting tables were about 400 bucks cheaper. Albeit the ones from Quiapo are even cheaper. i am certain of that. i think. yeah.

Useless trip. i'm chicken shit anyway. Will probably ask my beloved Mother to come with me on the coming weekend.

brush tub! brush tub! brush tub!!!

uh.... a palette too please. no wood ones. a large one at that.

I hate changing palettes. Yeah, might as well get a large one. Wood ones would work best over time I guess. It just wastes the paint if it's a new wooden palette. It's environment-friendly as well. Plastic ones with little compartments might work. Cheaper, but it's better for water color instead of acrylics and oils. And its difficult to use with the knives. Damn brush tub.

blabbering.... la la la la la.... too many voices......

============================
better decide fast.
Damn it to hell!
I'm fine!
And so it echoes.
i'm fine....

But not for long.
I can feel it.
Must complete the list soon.
must go and be gone.
But not for a lengthy while.
drown myself when its time.
Noticed the tapping?
Noticed the fidgets
notice the silence
notice the trembling.
It's the transition.
failed strength.
no control.
almost rocking....
almost rocking...

Give me a little bit more.
The right moment will come.
switch soon
i'm overlapping you.
I still grasp us.
Smile. Sanely please.
we'll need to run soon.
Not quite yet.
A full list
The right time
i'll savor my freedom.

============================
I have to file for leaves. Soon.
Wish Fahrenheit was here. He knows how to handle this.
He knows.