Apr 14, 2007
she was a teenager then, eager to explore the world and conquer it. he, on the otherhand was almost a decade her senior, experienced of the world's tricks, knowledgable on how to outsmart and detach himself.
she lost him, way before they even met. but when fate decided to let their paths cross, she was almost certain that it was a match that would last the lifetime but she was not as certain if he felt the same way. she had to know and she soon found out. he already had a son. that wasn't pretty bad, was it? having a big heart, she can learn to love his son as her own. but then, he was still wearing his wedding band. as young and as vulnerable as she was, her heart broke. she decided she can stand by him as his friend even if the pieces can't be mended.
as the years passed, their friendship grew into something special, the type that no one can explain. it hurt her to see it end that way. and as their friendship grew, so did the pain. he grew farther away from his wife, however. until one day, his wife left him. she knew that they were having problems. but she never knew that it was that bad. she was devasted and felt for him. she stood by him all the way, tried to distract him from all his worries through little things that made him laugh and conversations that made them feel silly. it worked. but she had always wondered if the failure of his marriage was of her doing. he reassured her that it didn't.
time had mended his wounds. she thought it improper, but it had always lingered in her mind if this was her chance. wouldn't it look like she stole him away? too late. while she was too busy deciding about that, he found yet another who could put color back into his life. someone else stole him. she lost him yet again. she went on being his friend, but the pieces of her heart broke into smaller ones. until she decided to let him be.
years later, they met again. he looked good and well with his girl. she on the otherhand was satisfied enough with her boyfriend. but memories were never forgotten. they realized how much they missed each other's company and decided to always be in contact no matter what. but the times were re-occurring. his girl found out and left him. again, she was the reason for this ruin. everything was back to normal quicker than the last time though. but not as normal however. he confessed his feelings for her and claimed that there was something else going on between them other than just being good friends. he wanted to confirm that he wasn't just the one feeling it. and she confessed as well.
she stayed with her boyfriend, however. she tried to keep it from him, but truth would always reveal themselves. so it did. there was a moment of tears and of unspoken pain. her boyfriend remained by her side, anyway, but only as a good friend now.
so they were finally together. laughing at the same little things, silly things. sharing day to day activities. facing challenges in life together.it was good while it lasted. no. it was great.
but some things do change, an impact of life's experiences. personalities that were failed to be seen in the past. they fought over it. and it's been more than a week without him. she realized that this time, it must be his turn. he left her hanging.
has she lost him again? i don't know. i'm still waiting. i'm still counting the days. i'm still hanging on. i can't help but think if this is what i've deserved all along.
i guess i do.
